Our Cat Yasha

Tonight was a horribly sad and stressful night. I came home from work to learn that our 5 year old cat had died. :( Chad and I got Yasha and Aldea almost 5 years ago from a fiend when we moved into our first apartment together. Yasha was an orange cat that got to be rather large...not fat, just a big cat. He loved to cuddle (especially at night time-when he would lay right on my arm next to my face), and he loved to eat, eat, eat.
Well tonight, Chad got home from work and typically Yasha runs down to his food dish whenever we get home. Chad noticed he didn't do that, went upstairs and found him sleeping on the floor...but he wouldn't wake up. Chad said he looked peaceful and asleep so I hope that means he died without suffering, but I hate the unknown. We have NO IDEA what exactly happened. Our best guess is he either ate something and choked or ate something that he wasn't meant to eat. Chad also found a few throw-up piles in the basement, so that makes me feel like it had to
be something he ate...but still he was so young.
It was so hard for me to hear all this news when I got home. I cried hysterically and was in complete denial...he was my first real pet. I had a pet growing up but this one was one I picked out, named, took care of and paid for. Life just wont be the same without him. Our other cat Dea and our dog Stella even seem confused and sad. Stella just sits around and whines, Dea goes and sits by her and nicely puts her paw on her. In time it will get easier I know, but I also don't want it to. I don't want to accept it or forget him. I miss him and will continue to miss him, but Chad also keeps reminding me that stress isn't good for this baby and I need to try to not stress. I will try, but I do have a feeling it isn't going to be easy or tear free.